Slice of Life: Rob was trying to pick up girls at the local dance club/roller rink, The Polar Skate, as he frequently does, when one Pauline Mozzarella screamed the words that would change Rob's life forever: "You low-life freak of nature! You have no brain! You have no talent! You probably don't even have a job! Come see me when you have a life... which won't be for a LONG, LONG time!" To make matters worse, the rent is almost due, and Rob's roommate/sister Jess is breathing down his neck. Rob vows to make his next job really matter and to be the absolute best at whatever that job should happen to be. He spots a help wanted sign at Sal's Pizza and stomps in like a man on a mission. Sal shows him the Hall of Past Pizza Guys, a memorial to all the previous delivery boys who didn't make the grade in the surprisingly tough world of pizza delivery. Undeterred, Rob accepts the job, immediately impressing Sal. Rob's first night starts out bad: He gets caught in a nasty traffic jam before he can deliver a single pie! Determined to keep his vow, he pulls over his van, puts on his roller skates, and takes "the alternate route" to his stops: Through yards, grabbing onto busses, and even launching himself into the air all to deliver the pizzas in record time. The last house manages to separate Rob from the pizza without paying. Just as he's pounding on the door in desperation, fearing the wrath of Sal, the lovely Jodie Cutter, veteran pizza girl of Shlomo's Pizza, shows him how to get the pizza money from them. It involves a prank phone call, an Ed MacMahon impression, and some ninja trickery. She even gives Rob a lift back to his van on her trusty skateboard. Having gotten calls singing Rob's praises before his return to the pizza parlor, Sal gives him a cash bonus and a noogie. Pauline emerges from the back room, shocked to find the previous night's loser under her father's employ. With his newfound sense of triumph, Rob tries to hit on Pauline again. Shooting him down again, she replies "You're still just a pizza guy."

The Anti-Slice: In his first week as Sal's pizza guy, Rob has continued using his unorthodox methods to deliver pies at extreme speeds. It's garnered some minor media attention bringing in new customers for Sal's Pizza. Jodie's also been around more lately, hanging out with Rob and Phil regularly. Tonight, Rob's route doesn't go nearly as smoothly as usual. Someone has set traps for Rob to slow him down. At one of his stops, a mysterious figure swipes Rob's pizza and delivers it while Rob is stuck in a hanging net trap. The figure introduces himself as "Buzz Clipp. Your worst nightmare. Like, ever." After failing to get anyone else to help him down (ah, the city) Jodie shows up and frees him. When he arrives at his van, ready to drive back to Sal's and get fired, the remaining pizzas were gone and money for all the deliveries were left mysteriously on the driver's seat! Meanwhile, Donut Phil, inspired by Rob, starts a job at Glazey's Donut Emporium and waits on the strangest late-night customers imaginable including a vampire who sucks the jelly out with his fangs.

The Slice is Right: Rob and Jodie go out to lunch at a nearby diner. Jodie flirts with Rob with reckless abandon, but Rob doesn't notice. Instead, he talks to her about his frustration at being unable to attract Pauline. Later, Rob, Jess, and Jodie try to help Phil with his first game show host audition by setting up a fake game show in the apartment. That night, Rob and Sherrylyn test a new invention: a little hologram that lets people know their pizza guy is waiting outside. Sal puts Sherrylyn on the payroll.

Shopping With the Enemy: Rob bumps into Pauline at the mall and invites himself to accompany her on her shopping trip. He ends up holding her purse while she tries on things. He's not alone. A legion of frustrated boyfriends ridicules Rob for being there voluntarily without Pauline being his girlfriend. They also stage an attack on the dressing rooms. Rob doesn't contribute, but ends up seeing Pauline in her underwear anyway. Pauline gives Rob the screaming of a lifetime making things really awkward at Sal's that night. Meanwhile, Phil's audition goes poorly as he competes against a group of nearly-identical gameshow host clones. He chats with Buzz while he's there, but Buzz makes himself scarce when Phil reveals that he's friends with Rob.

All material ©2008 Kyle A. Carrozza unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. You may download images for your viewing pleasure, but don't use them on your site or in print without permission from Kyle A. Carrozza.